It’s been a while, so I thought that it was time for another installment or Saturday SPAM!
I’ve covered from head to toe:
Dr. Memory wants to help with my mental decline. Tara Medium wants to give me a complimentary physic reading. Somebody wants to help rid my body of cellulite forever! The pastor is still insistent that if I eat some weird food item, the my blood pressure will magically be under control. Women’s health wants to pass on a tip to drop 3, YES 3, dress sizes in just one week. Keranique is sure that they can help me grow thicker more luxurious hair. Eye-sight Saver wants me to know that my contacts might just be ruining my vision, and Ankle Genie knows that they can rid my ankle and foot pain.
My house can get help too:
Dutch Glow is determined to tackle the wood in my home, and ShamWow wants to wash, dry and polish all the surfaces in the house. ADT wants to monitor my home.Window Installation Experts want to give my abode a FREE premium window installation. Improvement center wants to make sure that my bathroom is outfitted with a walk-in tub. My kitchen isn’t left out as Mr. Lid wants to make sure that my food containers are never parted from their lids…every again!
On to the home office:
Jessica and Cynthia have joined in with Sandra, Kimberly, Karen, Tracy and Jennifer for their concern over my monthly life insurance payments. Jennifer is also worried about by auto insurance, as is Geico Partner. Everyone and their brother-in-law is offering me search engine optimization and better web hosting. The President’s new loan plan is going to cure my student loan problems, along with reducing my mortgage rates and covering all my medical needs. I can get my doctorate degree online AND I’ve got a grant with my name on it.
I’ve received invitation upon invitation to meet my Russian Bride candidates and Match.com has a number of people interested in me. Nthanda Richard is a bank manager that wants to legally transfer funds to me. Robert Stevens wants me to do heaven knows what, if I’ve got a gun pointed to my head. I can print out my oil change coupons, save on my phone, cable, internet and MORE. My neighborhood is riddled with child molesters Genie Zip Bra has comfort zones that will conform to my shape, Grassology has a scientific breakthrough seed, that will make my lawn grow beautifully without any maintenance whatsoever, and finally…
Nicholas Hawtrey has warned me that the WORST CRISIS IS US HISTORY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!
Whats in your SPAM box…inquiring minds want to know!