Finding Out Your Spouse Has Been Unfaithful / Man and sad woman with their backs turned to each other

5 Strategies for Gluing Your Emotions Together After Finding Out Your Spouse Has Been Unfaithful

One of the saddest and most jarring things about the reality of life and relationships is that those we love the most can also turn into those who hold the power to break us. People fall in love, they commit, and then they get hurt. There are times when love turns into an almost vicious cycle that might seem impossible to get out of.

The news that your spouse has been unfaithful might hit you like a bolt out of the blue. However, before you start considering your divorce options or go straight to the attorney, it’s crucial to glue your emotions together first, so you can make conscious and reasonable choices that aren’t dictated only by your broken heart.

People who have kids should think about them first, as sharing the details of the situation might induce their anxiety. Professional counseling isn’t always necessary, but a pair of neutral eyes, looking at your situation, might help when it comes to dealing with all the hostile emotions.

Read on to explore five ways in which you can shake off the conflicting emotions that keep you up at night after finding out your spouse has been unfaithful.

Acknowledge That You’re Not Alone

You may feel that you’re the only one going through this challenging period, but you’re not. When you find out that your spouse has been unfaithful, the best thing to do is talk to somebody. Don’t bottle it up, or you may go under. You can turn to friends and family members, especially if they’ve already gone through the same problem.

You can also turn to professional counselors who will help you deal with your conflicting emotions without judgment. It might be difficult at first, but it becomes easier once you get used to talking about it. Their unbiased opinion might also help you recognize the possible signs of a toxic marriage.

Don’t Focus On Details

It might seem crucial to know every detail of what happened in your spouse’s affair, but it isn’t worth your pain and anger in the long run. Getting in too much detail might stir up way more hurtful feelings than necessary, and it may even make things worse for you.

If your spouse wants to tell you everything in detail and you feel ready to know, let them explain the situation from their viewpoint, but don’t push for it. It’s better to have a broad idea of what went on than to have too many specifics that are impossible to live with.

Give It Time To Settle

It’s impossible to rush things when it comes to dealing with infidelity. You need time to heal, but there are no hard rules to how much time exactly you need to do so. Some people need weeks, while others need months. Nevertheless, one thing is certain — don’t try to speed up the process. There are no deadlines after which you should be over it or move on to divorce papers. Give yourself enough time to process the emotions you’re going through.

You might be busy trying to make plans to get out of this broken situation, but before you do, take some time off. You need to take a step back and collect your thoughts. Breathe in the fresh air, enjoy your favorite cup of coffee, clear your mind, and decide what you want to do next. Your emotions are flying all over the place, so give them time to calm down. There’s no rush at this point. The faster you get rid of the urge to get even with your spouse, the better chances you have to glue your feelings back together.

Listen to Yourself

The person who can give you the best advice on how to deal with infidelity is yourself. You know your situation better than anybody else does, but sometimes there comes the point where it’s impossible to see anymore, especially when anger and resentment kick in.

At this point, listen carefully to what your heart tells you about what needs to be done next, and consider all the options until you decide with an open mind. The most important thing is not to lose yourself in all of this confusion. Stay strong, stay true to yourself, and use the situation as an opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and more aware of yourself and your needs as a partner.

Consider the Possibility of Counseling

There are times when people need help to deal with their emotions and fix their marriage. You might want to start looking outside the marriage for companionship, even though you didn’t realize it until now. Maybe your spouse has also been feeling neglected and has been turning elsewhere for comfort. These are just possibilities that might help you understand why the infidelity happened in the first place.

Consider counseling if you think talking through your feelings with someone neutral could help you understand each other better, repair your relationship, and move on. Whether you and your partner decide to stay together or go your separate ways, even a few counseling sessions can help you make the right decision.


People get hurt, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. If you’ve been cheated on, try to look at your spouse’s betrayal as an opportunity for self-reflection. It might be challenging to do at first, but try to approach this situation with a clear head and an open heart.

You don’t know what the future holds, but you should give it all you’ve got if you want to make things work. Try not to dwell on the past and concentrate on your future as a chance to build something new. This way, you will make the most out of the bad hand you were dealt in the past.

5 Strategies for Gluing Your Emotions Together After Finding Out Your Spouse Has Been Unfaithful

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